Kristy Kelly: The day mom disappeared
At about 3:45 AM, I knew I was in no condition to go to work. I held off as long as I possibly could before calling out—because calling in sick always makes me feel guilty. I flipped my phone over to keep the light from waking me and crawled back under the covers. That was the calm before everyone else’s very bad day.
As I drifted between sleep and desperate hopes that my symptoms would magically vanish, my phone was attempting to win a world record for unanswered calls, texts, and even a Find My iPhone alert. Unfortunately for the frantic people trying to reach me, I was dead to the world. I didn’t hear a single thing.
By the time I finally stirred, I had over 100 missed calls, more texts than I was willing to count, three separate requests for proof of life, and a very real threat to call my mother. When my kids couldn’t get in touch with me, they called their go-to crisis manager: my best friend, Julie. Somewhere along the way, Julie was unknowingly adopted as “NeNe” to my grandchildren—and by extension, to all four of my adult children. Some of the missed calls were from her.
Concerned and determined, Julie embarked on a mission to find me. She drove by my house—no car. She drove by my office—still no car. There’s a certain humor in being so predictable that your loved ones feel compelled to do wellness checks all over town just because you didn’t answer your phone. At the office, my coworkers informed her I had called in sick. Since I hadn’t told Julie I was sick, she called my daughter to figure out what was going on. That’s when the alarm bells really started ringing—no one could reach me.
Midday, things escalated. My son—who had borrowed my car and my kayaks—was attempting to impress a girl with a paddle down the Neuse. Unfortunately for him, her kayak flipped and got pinned beneath the root of a tree. A total fluke. Unfortunately for me, that meant the loss of a folding kayak. Somehow, even though they were just floating from the Highway 70 ramp to the Nature Center ramp, they couldn’t find their way back and ended up calling the police to rescue them. I remained completely unaware of the drama—I was still asleep.
If the goal of parenting is to raise children who can function without you, I have failed spectacularly. My adult children couldn’t even survive one afternoon without their mother ready to solve every real and imaginary crisis. A part of me found it sweet. Another part wanted to ask, Seriously? Y’all had to fall apart the one day I stayed in bed?
Let’s just say I no longer question my value to the people around me.
By 8 PM, Julie showed up in person. She claimed she had something to tell me, but I’m 99.9% sure she just wanted proof of life with her own eyeballs. Apparently, if I plan to be sick in the future, I need to schedule it at least a month in advance—just so I don’t send the entire western hemisphere into a panic, complete with concerned friends, panicked children, and river-rescue operations.
By the time I felt halfway human, I had reassured Julie, soothed my children, accepted the loss of a kayak, and assured everyone I was, in fact, not dead.
If this is what it feels like to be popular, I’m changing my number—and maybe buying a backup kayak while I’m at it.
Neuse News is a locally-owned small business startup in downtown Kinston. Our goal is to provide free, hyper-local news to Lenoir, Greene and Jones counties. The kind of news our grandparents read in a format fit for today's times.
We provide this by having supportive advertisers and we encourage you to click on their ads, shop with them, and eat with them. Every bit of financial support is important to help us sustain free, hyper-local news.
Please consider supporting Neuse News with as little as $5 one-time or via a monthly option. Every little bit helps us, help you.
