BJ Murphy: What Washington and Lincoln Taught Me About Leaving Things Better
Every major military holiday, I make it a habit to study something about our nation’s history, especially military-related topics. This Memorial Day was no different. I watched docuseries on Washington and Lincoln, back to back, and came away struck by the same thing each time: imperfect men, impossible circumstances, and a temperament that outlasted both.
That got me thinking about legacy in a way I hadn't expected.
During a break, I joined Ancestry.com, and within an hour I was reading about my 6th great-grandfather Captain Jack Murphrey, a large landowner in the Greene County and Contentnea areas who served in the American Revolution. Through my father's mother's side, I traced the lineage further and found two members of the Mayflower - Francis Cooke and John Cooke.
My father was the youngest of twelve. His father had 10 siblings. So you can imagine I don’t know or haven’t met most of the Murphy family that’s lived these last 100 years. One fact remains for me and all of us - we would not exist without a long, unbroken chain of people we never knew and never got to thank. I've teased my mother-in-law for years about her obsession with genealogy, yet it has its practical benefits too - my daughters can't date certain boys because we don't need any kissing cousins in our bloodline. I owe her an apology either way.
Something happens when you get older. The body starts reminding you it has limits in ways it simply didn't ten or twenty years ago, and your definition of a good moment quietly changes. I catch myself watching the sprinklers come on, or standing at the back window photographing deer in the field like I'm on a safari in my own backyard - perfectly happy with a fire, a sunset, and either good music or complete silence. I've made mistakes and carry some regrets, yet I feel genuinely grateful for the life I've been given and for every person in that long line who made it possible.
When I'm around young people now, I'm less interested in impressing them and more interested in steering them around the holes I fell into. My oldest daughter is graduating, my youngest is heading to high school, and this week we talked about careers and futures. My youngest said flatly she had no interest in politics and didn't want to follow my path. I had to be clear with her that my education is in business, and politics for me has always been public service - not an identity, not a career.
So when I won the March 3rd primary with no contest in November, I made a conscious decision to stay quiet and let the current board govern. I'm in regular contact with commissioners and staff, I know the issues, and I'm preparing. But the vote isn't mine yet, and I respect that.
Washington and Lincoln were flawed men who failed in ways that were sometimes catastrophic, but what they learned from those failures - about leadership, patience, and serving something larger than themselves - set a country on a path that 250 years later we still benefit from.
They weren't great because they were perfect. They were great because they kept going anyway, and tried to leave things better than they found them.
That's the only standard worth chasing.
