Kristy Kelly: A journey through the crowd
Depending on how one quantifies success, the BBQ Fest on the Neuse was either a resounding triumph or a disappointing flop. From the viewpoint of an author hoping to sell books, it may have felt like a failure. But as a columnist, the festival renewed my confidence and reminded me why it's important to keep talking about mental health.
It’s not often I take a step back and compare the “me” of then to the “me” of now. I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain, and life seemed determined to layer problems on top of that. Twenty years ago this month, life sucker-punched me in a way that still reverberates. At the time, I didn’t have the coping skills to understand the difference between being a victim and being a survivor. That victim mentality imprisoned me for a decade, fueling an aggressive bout of agoraphobia that kept me housebound and afraid.
The fact that I even had a booth at the festival is a testament to how far I’ve come. Being able to leave my front door without hesitation is a blessing. But standing in the middle of a crowd, surrounded by strangers, smiling and speaking without panic—that’s nothing short of a miracle. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, but I’d be remiss not to credit the medication and therapy that supported me along the way. Just like it takes a village to raise a child, it took a community of professionals, friends, and loved ones to help me heal. They believed in me before I could believe in myself.
While at the BBQ Fest, several people approached me and asked if I was the same Kristy Kelly who writes for Neuse News. When I said yes, they shared how much they enjoyed my columns—and how my openness about mental health had sparked conversations in their own lives. That floored me.
My life is chaotic and messy. It always has been, and it probably always will be. At least now, I’m an active participant in it. Today, I can stand proudly and say, “Hi, I’m Kristy Kelly. I write columns and books,” at a festival packed with tens of thousands of people. I can make new friends, speak honestly, and engage without the crippling fear that once ruled me. (Even if I have to be told that I am now friends with someone). Most importantly, I trust myself now. I trust the choices I make instead of constantly battling the intrusive thoughts that used to dominate my mind.
I may not have sold as many books as I’d hoped. I walked away with something far more valuable: real-time validation that my “oversharing” has helped others. That brought joy to my writer’s heart—and gave me hope for all of us. I cannot tell you how much I look forward to the emails people send me after a column is released.
We all have journeys—some we walk alone, others we walk together. But you are never as alone as you think you are. I’m grateful to be on this path with you, and thankful you’re walking with me.
My message today is simple: it took me 20 years to become the version of myself I am now. Kinston became the haven where I healed, surrounded by a community that cared enough to help me grow. Twenty years may seem like a lifetime, but the time it takes to heal from the traumatic influences of life is simply the time it takes to heal. If I would have gotten healthier sooner, I never would have made my way to Kinston. Timing really is everything.
I worked on myself with the help of all of those around me. You can do it too.
We all can—together.
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