Jason McKnight: Lessons from Pain
Lessons from Pain
This week, I’ve been flat on my back. Six days ago, I torqued the wrong way moving a pile of books. That was on top of an earlier morning tweak while exercising. Which resulted from a bad night of sleep for some unknown reason. That book torque was the kill-switch: “This guy’s going down.”
For six days, I’ve been basically lying down. Ice packs, pain-killers, gentle exercises, chiropractic adjustments. All things moving in the right direction… but man it’s slow.
I’ve lots of time to think about pain. Pain is a universal human experience. The physical pain that I’m currently feeling. The emotional, psychological pain that goes on inside us. The relational pain we feel when things collapse with friends. The spiritual pain we suffer at times from spiritual leaders or groups.
Pain is a universal experience. CS Lewis famously said this: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, and shouts to us in our pain. It is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
God uses pain, invites us to consider new things because of pain. Here are some of the things I’ve been reminded of this week—none of them earth-hsattering. But hopefully, all o them helpful to you in the pain you may face.
Pain means that we are alive. The dead don’t feel joy or pain. But the alive do. So, at the first twinge of pain, we can say, “well, at least I’m in the land of the living.” Why is this good? because as long as there is life, there is hope.
Pain is a warning sign. It’s God’s gift through biology to cause us to stop a destructive action—like moving toward a hot stove. Feel the burn as you approach, and you back off. Pain is desgined to make us think twice. This is true in emotional or psychological pain too. If you are hurting, think twice about the course of action—what could you do to change, limit, relieve this hurt? What help do you need, where should you look?
Pain slows us down. Obviously, we can’t barrel ahead at full speed when we’ve broken our leg. Or endure side-effects of chemo. Pain forces us to re-pace our life. This is not a bad thing, for most of us rush too often.
Pain makes us smaller. When in pain, we are more likely to call out for help. This is a good thing, for Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” What does “poor in spirit” mean? The person who is willing to admit they have need, they are not whole, they are lacking. Pain is a gift that helps us live into the reality that we are smaller than we think, we need others more than we expect, we are inter-connected with each other. I was walking with my son the other night, and my back started to spasm in agony. It was a public place, a good quarter mile from his car. I needed him—me the Dad, he the Son. He held me up, then, helped me down on all fours to gain some relief for a few minutes, walked me so slowly to the car, and put me in the back seat for the drive home. It was embarrassing to have that happen—both the public place, and the reliance on my dear son. Pain makes you smaller… and that’s usually not a bad thing once in a while: Humbling ourselves is very Christ-like.
Pain also makes you larger. That is, stronger and in better touch with what life is really about. You see, we love to curate our lives. Our default setting in America is to make a lifestyle that we must live by, and don’t want to alter (unless WE say we can). We have so much opportunity, prosperity, availability ,that we can really “do what we want” far more than most in the world or in history. When pain invades, and forces us to refocus on deeper things, we become larger persons: more reflective of how God wants us. Our lives become more about loving others and being loved… and less about my latest purchase from Amazon. Pain makes us larger, that is, it focuses us on what is lasting and real.
Pain forces a choice: victor or victim. For me, there were many times I drifted into a mindset of defeat: “will I ever get to sit in my favorite chair again?” asked moaningly to myself. This was on day 2 of my journey. This is victim outlook. A Victor outlook is, “what can I do so that I can sit in that chair in the future.” And, I have been faithful with ice, rest, stretches… and my mobility is improving daily. Last night, I sat in that chair pain free for half an hour. All week my poor wife has had to endure me saying, probably ten times a day, “I think things are improving”. It may be annoying to her, but I have to hold on to every new glimpse of hope, and leverage that so that I don’t slip into slef-pity or defeatism. Pain forces that choice more than a regular life.
Finally, pain helps me live by faith. It forces me to reckon with this stark fact: either life is random and meaningless, or it is unfolded by the gracious providence of a good God. Why did my back go out this week? Well, I know the physical reasons (the torques and tweaks).
But on the level of meaning, it is a great help to recognize God has some good in it for me and those near me. I can live by this faith: “well, Lord, what are you up to here? What do I need to learn? Or be reminded of? Or set aside for now… or forever? I’m trusting you will do in me some work of grace through this painful season. Thank you for caring enough to bring me to pain.”
Ignore Pain at your peril. Address it for your growth. You can cope or you can heal. These few points are several helps that I’ve ruminated on while lying on the living room floor this week. In that case, it’s been a great week!
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