Evelyn Dove Coleman: Dementia: Mind On A Mission

Rarely have I ever met someone with my same name.  Evelyn is rare. And I have never ever met someone with my same birthday. Until one Saturday I was blessed to meet Dr. Evelyn Smith, born January 4th. I liked her instantly, and the more we talked, the more I wished she could be my neighbor.  She made the best peanut butter-oatmeal cookies I have ever been offered. I found myself with my eyes bulged and my mouth held wide open in awe after I took a bite. 

But it was her blue t-shirt that made me question her about the Zeta Phi Beta Sorority. As I wrote in last week's column, I won the Miss Blue Revue pageant when I was a teen.  So I recognize that blue. It gave me great pleasure to talk to the other Evelyn about her Sorority and some of the women we both are honored to have met through it, such as Edith Cahn, Mallie Stocks and Agnes Tilley.

I also learned a lot from the other Evelyn about the experiences of a family when there is a diagnosis of Memory Loss, Dementia, or Alzheimer's Disease. Coincidentally, I had been reading about the signs of Dementia and learned that sometimes a patient will hide things and then forget that they did.  That can be stressful for the family members trying to take care of their loved one. Evelyn gave me more examples of her own experience  as she is now the care provider for her dear brother. They have known each other all of their lives and interacted in one familiar way.  Now, she has had to learn from his professional care givers how to interact with him as he currently is. It requires patience and compassion and grit.

As she described how she is determinedly adjusting to benefit and help him, I asked her what does she do to also take care of herself. So many times, care providers forget to do that. I was pleased to hear that she practices Meditation and Gardening. And she volunteers in the community in areas such as the UNC Lenoir Hospital, S.A.F.E, and others that I have too. So we share more than our names and birthdays. Now I encourage others to learn about the disease of Dementia and the real challenges of life around it.

Evelyn Dove Coleman established PathChoice Ministry. Send prayer needs to http://www.pathchoicepastoralcounseling.weebly.com or EvDove03@yahoo.com.