Faith Forward with Pastor Jason McKnight: Why do bad things happen to good people?

The nine-year-old boy sat in my office. He’d made an appointment to ask a few questions. His mom and little brother were with him. I tried to make them all as comfortable as possible, joked about a few things, and said, “well, hit me with it, man!”

He got his paper out, looked at the first question, and asked, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” 

“Are you sure you’re nine?” I asked. In my head. Out loud, I said, “great question. In fact, that’s one that so many people have asked. Let me see if I can help as you think through it. In all honesty, I don’t think I can answer it in 2 short sentences.” He agreed. 

“When you say, bad things, what are you thinking of?” I asked. His answer, “Surgery, cancer. My friend had to…” And that’s when I understood where this question was coming from. A buddy, a cousin, a kid. Why does he have cancer? He doesn’t deserve that; he’s just a kid.

I clarified, “when you say ‘bad things’ you mean pain and suffering, right? And when you say, ‘good people’ you mean the undeserving, right?” He knew I was tracking with him. 

So, I shared with him a bit of my own story. I was born with a birth defect inside me, that no one knew about. I was always sick in the first 20 months of my life. Chronic infections, real pain. Finally, around 2 years old, they discovered that my ureters were not the one-way streets they are supposed to be, and that my urine would often travel back up into the kidneys to infect me and damage the kidneys. Reflux. 

Between two and five years old, I had four surgeries to correct this problem. For the next eight years, they monitored my condition, and I had a final surgery at 12. I related all of this to my friend to highlight the amount of pain I’d suffered as a kiddo. Internal infections & acute stabs in the kidneys. Poking and prodding by medical tests. Recovery from surgeries. Having to spend many weeks in the hospital: I was in for Halloween one year, Christmas the next.

I didn’t deserve all that, and I certainly didn’t like it. I had many tears, and lots of scary anticipation of “tomorrow’s test at the hospital” (knowing the amount of pain I’d suffer).

I said to my friend, “but do you know what? As I look back on it, here’s what I realized: many good things came to me because of that. I love to meet new people, and it’s because I was forced to make new friends on those hospital wards. I feel for the pain folks go through, because I’ve been in that bed. I learned how to relate to adults (many nurses!), and that short-term pain leads to long-term gain (today’s needle gives tomorrow’s health). All of these steps of growth came through this ‘bad thing to an undeserving kid.’ So, my question is simple: was my painful condition ultimately a bad thing or a good thing?”

And that’s the nub of the issue. This world is filled with painful, unjust things… but whether they are ultimately bad or good might depend on how you process them. 

I offered a second instance: My dad died of cancer when I was ten. That’s a bad thing. No doubt. I know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep for months, and to ache at missing someone. But here’s what God gave me through that undeserved pain and loss: God came near in my need than I would have sought him in my plenty. God showed up in his people who reached out in care. God sustained us and provided tangibly. God drew me into relating to him deeply as a teenager, because I wanted to escape some of the drudgery of life without dad. I learned first-hand that God is a father to the fatherless. 

Losing a dad to cancer is bad. But it’s not only bad. There is some good that came to me through that loss, that couldn’t come in any other way. Maybe “bad” and “good” as categories are too narrow for life. God is adept at using a marred and sullied canvas to paint a masterpiece! 

Perhaps our experience of the bad or good in any given situation will always depend on how we walk through them. Will we walk with a hope that God is accomplishing in us more than we could ask or imagine… knowing that we don’t know all the angles nor the future? Romans 8:28 is true: “all things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” Isaiah 55:8-9 is true: “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord.” God’s infinitely higher purposes are being played out in my daily life—both painful and delightful. Only God could do that! We can be confident that he is bringing about our ultimate good, which is becoming more like His Son. 

I did not say this to my young friend, but this morning I thought about Kintsugi pottery. This is a Japanese type of pottery that starts with a perfectly formed vase, pitcher or bowl. The potter has made this and it’s just right. Then the potter dashes it to pieces. On purpose. Breaking what he had just made. Why? So that he might reassemble it using molten gold to join each piece back together. The renewed pitcher or vase becomes even more beautiful and valuable than the original, but only because it was broken and remade by the master craftsman. 

Aren’t you glad that The Potter isn’t afraid to put His Treasure in us Jars of Clay, that he might make from our lives and experiences gold that will glorify Him!