Kristy Kelly: The women who continue to mold me
As is the theme of my life, I am a day late and a dollar short on writing anything for Women’s History Month. The last column I wrote was about famous women who did good, but were terrible humans. This time, I thought I’d write about the women who are making history every day.
I’m not from here. I pick and choose where I say I’m from based on who I’m talking to because I’ve lived all over the eastern part of the United States. Who knew it would be Kinston where I finally planted roots?
As a joke, I say I came to Kinston by way of employment and bad decisions. While that is entirely true, Kinston was just another name on a long list of places I’ve lived. When we first moved here, I lived near Holloway Park in a quiet neighborhood where kids played outside and neighbors lived as neighbors do. After I joined smART Kinston, I moved downtown, and now I live in a house that I love, in a neighborhood that has given me a great deal of content to write about, both professionally and personally.
The first woman who invested in me in Kinston later became my mother-in-law. She opened a store in downtown Kinston called Serenity, The Modern Apothecary. Her patience and genuine interest in who I was as a person allowed me to be open and vulnerable. Our conversations gave me courage when I had none, and she planted a tiny seed of confidence. It’s because of Gail Edwards that any of these columns exist. She helped me find my voice. The store closed, but I remained.
Before COVID shut everything down, I briefly worked with the second woman to invest in me in Kinston. Every day, I saw a woman run two organizations with equal attention and passion. Her mind worked like mine, but in a way that others responded to. Like a sponge, I absorbed how she handled meetings and led others to compromise when it mattered. Her care and compassion always stood out to me the most. Jan Parson showed me who I wanted to be when I grew up.
Through Jan, I met one of the most inspiring women I’ve ever known. She lives her life unapologetically and on her own terms. At a period in my life when I was desperate to figure out who I was, here was this amazing person who dressed for herself, spoke for herself, and commanded the respect of those around her. Carol Stein gave me the faith to believe in myself.
Then I met a woman who commanded respect from those around her by just her sheer presence alone. She made the most beautiful flowers for me at my wedding and has been a constant cheerleader since the day we met. We are name-twins by middle and last, and that will always be special to me. If you don’t know Tammy Kelly already, you are missing a true gem in your life.
These women met me at periods of my life I’d rather forget. They gave me tools and ideas on how to improve not just myself, but my circumstances. My timeline in Kinston is almost an itinerary of the women I’ve met.
Work gave me a woman I look at like a sibling, though I’ve probably never said that to her because I’m an introverted nightmare. If we’d grown up together, I’d have raided her closet, though everything would be miles too long for me. She’s funny and sincere, with an intelligence that blindsides those who take kindness for weakness. Through sheer force of will on her part, she enveloped me into the office family and taught me how to belong. Almost seven years later, I’m still there, sitting across from Aleatha Thrower, never really worrying about everything because I know she is there to catch me.
Strong, powerful women live and work in this county. Councilmember Felicia Solomon was one of the first female politicians I’d ever met. I’d been sent to interview her, but she had just as many questions for me. Over the years, we built a quiet, encouraging friendship where she always takes the time to let me know when I’ve done something I should be proud of. Her encouragement has bolstered my confidence in sharing my views with the world.
Another strong woman in this county wields her power with a quiet, gentle strength that bridges divisions. Lenoir County Chair Linda Rouse Sutton has been adopted straight into my heart. I’m not always the kindest to myself, and when I’m not, I can expect a phone call or a firmly worded email reminding me of all the reasons I’m wrong to take that tone with myself. Words cannot express my love for this woman.
Sitting near her at the Lenoir County Commissioners meeting is another woman who saw me not just as the person asking questions about her job, but as someone valued and appreciated. Her knowledge of how the world really works, and not just how it’s supposed to, is matched by her ability to convey that knowledge in a way others can relate to. Commissioner June Cummings is always the most put-together woman, and she showed me that one can command a room and look fabulous while doing it.
One woman I met through writing columns. Her gentle, and not so gentle encouragement is probably the reason I continued writing them. All writers want to be read, but not all readers are as forthright in their demands for future content. Susan Purcell’s support over these last few years has built my confidence in writing after years of feeling defeated.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the tribe of women I call friends in addition to those I mentioned above. Colleen Kosinski is one of the most gracious, selfless women I’ve ever met. April Houston pours her heart and soul into every job she does. Julie Babbin taught me how to be a better friend and a better person through her endless love of others. Izzy Pritchard lives her life with unabashed freedom and a firm grounding in who she is and what she wants. Michelle Davis brought fun into my life and continues to make me laugh every time we talk.
If I ever felt I lacked role models, I found them in Kinston. While these women may not make the history books, they have shaped my life in profoundly positive ways, and I am grateful for every day I have been gifted with them.
