Evelyn Dove Coleman: Stages of Grief
There are a number of websites on the internet which outline the various stages of grief people normally go through when someone passes away. They vary from denial to acceptance. The Cleveland Clinic says "Grief is never easy. And though we tend to associate grief with death, other life events can trigger grief, too — from the end of a relationship and the loss of a job to financial hardship." https://health.clevelandclinic.org/5-stages-of-grief.
It seems that lately I am notified of someone dying every week or so. We are at the age our parents used to be. Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, and Nineties-plus. Old sports injuries or long-time aches and pains catch up and become illness. Life decisions made during youth have consequences we must bear in old age. I admire senior citizens and young people who remain active enjoying hobbies and socializing for better mental and physical agility. Alas, we all have a common denominator at the last breath.
As I witness friends react when they experience the death of loved ones, I try to encourage them to reflect on the good memories. Sometimes it helps, but other times, people are simply inconsolable. They feel the empty space deeply. They find it hard to grapple with a future unlike the past. Even when someone has been sick or suffering for a long time, I guess there is no easy way to prepare.
When I die, I hope that my friends and family will focus on how much they showed me love while I lived. I want them to remember the times they visited me and included me in their get-togethers. I wish they could recall the many gifts they gave to me. I look around my home and see signs of love in the mugs and candles, and angels people gave me because they knew I collect them. I have closets filled with clothes and shoes and bags that were gifts. Even greater, I have memories of all the times someone stopped by or called me to stay connected. That is what matters.
Evelyn established PathChoice Ministry in 1992. Reach her at pathchoicepastoralcounseling.weebly.com or EvDove03@yahoo.com.
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