Mike Parker: Take Time to Be Thankful
The lyrics of an old hymn once common in churches were written by William D. Longstaff in 1882. “Take Time to Be Holy” emphasizes the importance of spending time in prayer and communion with the Lord. As Thanksgiving Day approaches, I think we also need to “Take Time to Be Thankful.”
Just how thankful we are? We know everything is not perfect, but we live in a nation and in an age where we enjoy benefits in our lives few have ever known. Yet, everywhere I go, I hear people complaining. They complain about fuel prices, the cost of food, the schools their kids attend, their churches, and their lives in general.
Our brains seem tuned to “negative perception.” I am reminded of the lady who handed a little boy an orange. The boy’s mom said to her little one, “What do you say?”
The tyke raised the orange to his benefactor and said, “Peel it.”
Do we really want our lives marked by ingratitude?
I read an interesting article on the perils of ingratitude. Reggie Joiner, who frequently writes for theParentCue.org and offers advice on raising children, identified five specific issues children develop when their parents fail to model gratitude.
First, if a child grows up in a home where gratitude is seldom expressed, then the child develops an unhealthy ego. All of us want our children to be confident and believe in themselves, but do we want our kids to be self-centered egomaniacs? Our children need to understand that living a successful life involves the influence – and often the assistance – of others. The best way to recognize the impact of others on our lives is by expressing thanks.
Another point Joiner raised involves the friendships ingratitude can destroy.
“The best way to burn through good friendships fast is to never show gratitude,” he wrote in “Dangers of an Ungrateful Life.” “Smart friends are not going to stay in relationships with people who just use or drain them. So, you can expect the right kind of friends to avoid ungrateful people. At the same time, those who are ungrateful will tend to attract friends who are the same.”
In my long years as a teacher, I saw this principle at work. We often think the lonely kid sitting in the school lunchroom is misunderstood or ostracized by other students. Sometimes, this assessment may be right on target.
But what I often observed was that the kid sitting alone in the cafeteria was a person who had used other people. This child thinks he or she has the right to take and take – without a word of thanks and without ever giving back. The surest way to become a loner is to avoid showing gratitude.
Ingratitude also fuels a sense of entitlement, Joiner writes. Children – and adults – afflicted with this problem think they deserve everything anyone gives them or does for them.
“Entitlement implies that others do what they do for me because they recognize my importance. Without a habit of gratitude, you convince yourself that the rest of the world should help you because you deserve it.”
Ingratitude is the surest way to breed discontent and a critical spirit. Those two go hand in hand. The more dissatisfied we become, the more we nourish a critical spirit. The more critical we become, the more resentful we become.
The Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the believers in Philippi in Philippians Chapter 4, “6 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Paul’s advice is the opposite of the ego-centric, entitled, critical nature that ingratitude both breeds and reflects. “Be careful for nothing” in today’s language means “stop worrying about everything.” Instead, we are to pray. When we pray, we are to offer our prayers with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving changes our outlook, and the result is the peace of God guarding our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I love the old hymn “Count Your Blessings.” The song tells us to “count your blessings – name them one by one.” Those words are sound advice for what we how we should behave on Thursday – and every day.
I am pray we will use this Thanksgiving Day to start a year of expressing gratitude that will change our attitude and nourish our inner person.
Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.
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