Reece Gardner: Harshly spoken words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." I have used these words previously, and we all have heard them before, but we know there isn't much truth in them. Words can indeed hurt and even, in some cases, leave scars that may last for a lifetime. In one of my Dale Carnegie Classes in Goldsboro a few years ago, a class member in his mid-30s stood before the class and, with tears streaming down his face, told about a childhood incident in which his father, to whom he looked up to for guidance and support, became angry and shouted to him, "You are the worst mistake I ever made!"

Now that incident had occurred some 25 years prior to that evening, yet he was still hurting from it. I am fairly certain his father was hurting also because we can be sure that we cannot hurt someone else without also hurting ourselves. That hurt may not be immediate, but it will come around one day. In another class, in Elizabeth City, a father cried as he recalled an incident in which he had humiliated his 7-year-old son. He said he came home from work one day and found his son's bicycle lying in the driveway. He said this infuriated him and he got out of his car and yelled at his son, who was playing with some of his little friends in the backyard, "Boy, are you crazy? You know better than to leave your bike out here in the driveway. Get over here right now, put that bike in the garage, and get into the house immediately."

He said that in one minute he had humiliated and embarrassed his son in a very hurtful way in front of his friends. He then said, "So many times over the years I have relived that occasion, and wished that I had handled it differently. I could have just gotten out of my car, rolled the bicycle into the garage, said hello to my son and his friends, and gone into the house. Later, when my son and I were alone in our home, I could have quietly explained to him that he should be more careful where he leaves his bicycle, since someone might accidentally run over it in the driveway." Then, with great emotion, he said, "With that one outburst, I greatly hurt my relationship with my son, and all over a BICYCLE!" I am sure we have all said and done things in the past that we wish we could go back and change. But that was yesterday, and yesterday is gone. However, there is one way we might BENEFIT from yesterday, and that is to recognize the importance of living each day in a way so that when the day is gone, we can look back on it without regret. We will be able to say, "Yesterday, I didn't criticize, condemn, or complain. Yesterday, I didn't tear anybody down. Yesterday, I took a few minutes to give honest, sincere appreciation to someone who needed to hear those words, deserved to hear those words, and was better off as a result of hearing them. Yesterday, I made someone feel important by reminding him that he was a walking, talking, living breathing miracle, born in the image of God , and bound for the Promised Land."

So, words spoken harshly with little thought or concern for the one to him they are spoken, can indeed hurt. These hurtful words can cause lives to be saddened, hopes to be dashed, and dreams to be shattered. So let's say a kind word to someone today. They will greatly benefit from it and SO WILL WE!
Now to close on a humorous note: Two men were seated next to each other at a bar. After a while one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland." The other guy responds. "Yes, I am!" The first guy then says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and by golly, so am I. And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other says, "A lovely little area. it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town." The first guy exclaims, "It's a small world, so did I!. And to what school would you have been in?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course." The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well now I graduated in 1964." The first guy shouts, "The good Lord must be smiling down on us. I can't hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's myself in 1964." Another guy walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bartender walks over, shakes his head, and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight. The Murphy twins are drunk again!"