What do you want for Christmas? (2019 version)

I stumbled across a column I had written around Christmastime in 1999. “Sometime around Thanksgiving, wives and children begin firing the question that never seems to end until Christmas Day. What do you want for Christmas, Dad?”

I wrote then – as I am writing now: I do not really want any THING for Christmas. I have all the tangible stuff I can deal with. If you are like me, you have enough things stuffed here and there to qualify for an appearance on “Hoarders.”

I have come to understand more deeply the words of Christ recorded in Matt 6:19-21: 19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I spent entirely too much of my life diverting my heart from what truly matters by focusing on “stuff.” What do I want for Christmas?

In 1999, I listed two things – a good night’s sleep and time to play games, such as Uno and Boggle, with my children. I would add today that I also like to spend time with my grandchildren, as well. I enjoy watching the creative ones – like Abby, Alex, Laney, and Allison – as they draw, paint or craft. I enjoy watching Isaiah, eyebrows furrowed, assembling a jigsaw puzzle. I like watching as the explosive energy of Ben and Luke erupts into action. I adore watching Hannah curl up with a book.

I cherish each moment I can spend with my four older grandchildren – who soon will all be more than 18 and adults under the law. I enjoy listening them talk about what they are learning in school and their plans for the future. I love the way they will make time to be with their Grandma Sandra (aka Memaw) and me. Our society is so driven by assessing everything based on cost-benefit. We focus on material things – the very things Christ warned should not be our focus. We neglect what matters most – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness – and all these [needed] things will be added unto you.”

I truly believe that children as a heritage from the Lord. I relish time with my children, even though my heart sometimes breaks watching them struggle with the problems of Adult-ing. I learned long ago what I best can offer is a listening ear and a concerned heart and a steady soul – but I cannot solve their problems. I wish I could. I wish I could wrap them in a blanket of love and protection so they would never hurt or worry.

When I wrote the first version of this column, I was pushing 50. Now I am nearing the big 7-0. The shorter my time on earth becomes, the more precious time with family grows. I am not one of those of whom the British poet Edward Young observed: “All men think all men mortal but themselves.”

I have stared mortality in the face. While life may sometimes seem long, nearly tedious, the truth is our lives are but a vapor that appear for a little while – and then vanish. I am not writing these words to be morbid. Instead, I treasure what time remains for my life. If my life meets average life expectancy for men, roughly 78, then I have about nine years left. I know I am not guaranteed nine more years – or even nine more hours.

However, I want what life I have left to enrich the hearts and minds of my family. Forbes magazine published an article titled “The Twenty-Five Biggest Regrets in Life. What Are Yours?” More than half of the regrets listed concerned some sort of neglect of family and friends. Not a single regret focused on things. So what does Dad want for Christmas?

I want to spend more time with my family to show them how much they mean to me. As Shakespeare wrote in Sonnet 73, we must “love that well which thou must leave ere long.” Merry Christmas!

Mike Parker is a columnist for The Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com .