Mike Parker: Kicking off the school year right

If you have read my columns through the years, you know I am a retired high school English teacher. I spent 37 ½ years in the classroom at the secondary level and another 30 years part-time at the collegiate level. I consider myself somewhat of an authority on what parents need to do to help their children succeed in school.

Since a new school year has just started, I want to share some tips with parents so they can help their children – the students in schools – do well in their academic endeavors.

Tip #1: Let your child know that you value education.

Nothing undermines a child’s will to succeed more than parents who see a sound education as some unnecessary frill. I recall a 10-year-old telling me one time when I was trying to encourage him to work harder in the classroom, “Well, my daddy ain’t got no education – and he makes a lot more money than you do.”

That statement was entirely true. His dad had no education and could barely read and write. His dad also made much more money than I did as a long-haul trucker.

Where did this 10-year-old get this piece of information? I guess that he was merely repeating what he had heard his father say, probably more than once. Getting through to this child was tough because he knew his parents, especially his dad, did not value education.

How can parents show they value education?

First, take an interest in what your child is learning in school. Do NOT ask a question like, “How was your day?” Be specific. I used to go subject by subject and say, “Tell me what you learned today in math?” or “What did you study in ELA [language arts]?” or social studies or science. Expect a sensible answer.

One of my tykes once responded to my question, “What did you learn today?” with a single word: “Nothing.” I pretended to become enraged. I grabbed the phone book.

“I am going to call that teacher and fuss her out for wasting your time and not teaching you anything.” My child froze in obvious fear.

“No, daddy. Please don’t call.” Then she spouted a list of things her teacher had covered in class.

Another way to show you value education is by insisting on helping your child with homework. Again, do not be lackadaisical or gullible. If your child answers, “We did not have any homework,” be suspicious. Almost all children have homework every day. Also, do not fall for “I did it at school.” Demand to see the written product.

If the child breaks out the homework folder, then help the child with the assignments – but do not do the work for the child. Your job is to be a support – not a sucker. Assisting with homework does two things. First: you can help your child understand the material and the expectations. Second, when you help with homework, you can see the progress the child – and the teacher – is making on the journey through the curriculum.

Tip #2: Keep the lines of communication open.

Another essential part of parenting is keeping open communication with the child’s teachers. Teachers are not omniscient nor are they mind-readers. If your child is going through a rough spell, let the teachers know. They can help form a support system when the child is at school.

During my son’s junior year in high school, our family suffered a huge blow. My wife was diagnosed with Stage 3-B cancer. She had a long road of treatment ahead of her that included chemotherapy, surgery, high-dose chemotherapy with stem cell replacement, and 33 radiation treatments.

We arranged to have a meeting with Michael’s teachers. He attended because I do not believe a high school student needs to be excluded from a meeting that concerns them. His teachers were incredibly supportive. They told us they were available whenever he needed them, and they assured Sandra and me that if they saw any changes in him, they would let us know.

Let teachers know about changes that affect the whole family, such as a job change, divorce, or a death in the family. No matter how parents may try to shield their children from the pressures these changes bring, children still perceive them. The result could be serious changes in behavior.

Tip #3: Make reading with your child a daily activity.

Another important suggestion, especially if your children are in the early grades, is to read with them. Read – read – read. Few academic tasks help develop a child’s intellect like reading. Spend at least some time every day reading with your child.

Tip #4: Make sure your children get plenty of sleep.

One key to helping kids fall asleep is setting a time when all screens must be shut down and turned off. The glow from televisions, tablets, iPads, and computers stimulates a child’s brain, so make sure these mental and emotional stimulants are off – and stay off. At my house, bedtime is 9:30 p.m. when the grandkids visit – whether in school or out of school.

This list is not exhaustive, but if you practice these tips, then your children/students will understand that you value education and expect their best in school.

Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.